Posted by sean on May 11, 2009 at 4:57 pm in Football with No Comments

Didhedive Drogba yesterday, after a grasshopper sneezed near the dugout

CHELSEA’S Ivorian striker Didhedive Drogba was again in the news, after Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger accused him of “diving” to earn the free kick which led to Chelsea’s first goal during their 4-1 demolition job at the Emirates Stadium in France yesterday afternoon.

Drogba, 31, did eight spectacular rolls and a face plant before being seen to hold his big toe after a sneeze, believed to be from a mouse or a small shrew, sent the in-form striker tumbling to the ground.

Sky Sports cameramen at the scene however put the blame firmly on a grasshopper, seen in the area of the pitch just before the incident.

It was unavailable for comment this morning. Arsene Wenger, despite not seeing the incident, called Drogba’s behaviour “A f**king disgrace” and recommended he be placed ‘on the sex-offender’s register’.

Drogba, whose real name is Gladys Goosecreature, said after the game “I heard this noise, and I thought I had been shot. It was a grasshopper? No, not possible. Did you see that? Did you? It’s a disgrace. It’s a f**king disgrace”.

Drogba missed the first few games of the season after a European heron dropped a small twig it was carrying back to its nest some 29 miles away, causing him to twist his ankle and give him career-threatening bruises.

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