Posted by sean on August 23, 2009 at 9:47 pm in Fun At Home with No Comments


No, this isn’t the title of the sequel to Brokeback Mountain, nor is a ‘coming out’ declaration…

Last week, I was very disturbed to receive a letter from the good people at Wessex Water, advising me that my water bill would be increased as my usage has massively gone up.

Having not installed a swimming pool in my sitting room, I am totally puzzled as to why such a meter reading would be made. Not wanting to pay a bill equalling that of a 3rd world debt, I contacted the supplier to tell them all was not right.

Agreeing something was wrong, they are sending a man out to investigate on Wednesday. In the meantime, they set me the fun task of locating my stopcock (see, that’s where the blog title came from) so that the water can be turned on and off upon his arrival.

Having checked all the usual places – under the sink, airing cupboard and fuse box (joke), I was totally puzzled – I even pulled the fridge out to see if Mr. Stopcock was hiding there. Alas, he wasn’t.

Then, a thought crossed my mind… I decided to read the manual which came with my flat. Being a male, I don’t normally read instructions, and this manual constitutes them, so I have never bothered to check until today.

Surprisingly, in the manual, there WERE instructions on finding the stopcock – in the corridor by the gas meter – a location I DID check during my mammoth hunt. I must have missed the tap originally, which was hiding in a corner behind a door. The sneaky little so and so…

Now to try and let the water man find out the cause of the colossal bill – my money’s either on a leak or some moron misreading the meter.

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