Posted by sean on July 23, 2013 at 10:40 pm in Insects, Life In Bath, Seagulls with No Comments


It is true to say that the majority of Bath residents live in a bubble, separated from the rest of the world and society. With the exception of housing and unemployment, which affects the entire country, us Bathonians have it easy. We live in a safe and clean city. Just look at the national news to see some of the horrible things taking place in other towns within the UK.

Still, moaning is in our nature. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t complain and Bath residents are no different. Except, as we have no real issues to concern us, we find other things to whinge about. Twitter is a great place to see such complaints.

Below are just some of the top perils to affect the residents of the Georgian city of Bath…

Seagulls
I mentioned these myself the other day (you can tell I live in Bath!). Tweets I have observed this week range from locals moaning about the gulls’ noise, existence and habit of defecating everywhere. The funniest thing was, although everyone seems to hate the birds, there were a number of tweets on Monday, made by appalled residents who had spotted some dead gulls lying in the road. What do you actually want, people?

Killer ants
The word killer is an exaggeration; although the way some people carried on, you would have thought some being on high had sent the insects to Bath to murder us all. In reality, a few larger than life ants, some with wings, hatched one hot afternoon and crawled about a bit. By the morning they were all dead. Some people blaming the seagulls for their demise. Yes, seriously.

Primark
A lot of posh toffs live in Bath. Therefore the proposal of a Primark opening in the city centre predictably sent a wave of fake outrage across the west country Internet. Until now, Bath hasn’t had a Primark – a popular, budget clothes store. The nearest one being in Bristol. No doubt the local snobs would love it on Saturday afternoons, as all the “riff raff” would leave city like rats, on the X39 bus to Bristol, to pick up some affordable rags from the shop they consider beneath them, leaving the streets of Bath free of commoners and allowing the upper classes to enjoy copious glasses of Pimms and trips to The Rec. When this Primark opens in Bath, I honestly think it will kill some of more toffs. Those who are still living after The Pound Shop opened last year.

Bath Spa
Not the train station station, named Bath Spa. Nor the posh swimming pool of the same name. No I’m on about the city where I reside, known as Bath. It has come to my attention that some people are calling the city “Bath Spa”. These people are clearly very, very wrong, but they seem insistent upon it. To be honest, I couldn’t give a shit, but it’s annoyed many tweeters, who are again suffering from fake outrage at the fact their city has been called anything but its correct title. Snobs. If you ask me, we should go back to calling the city Aquae Sulis. I’m a man of class and tradition, after all.

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