Posted by sean on July 25, 2013 at 11:24 am in Have I Got News For You with No Comments


Private Eye summed up this week’s news perfectly – “Woman Has Baby”.

It’s not that I am against the monarchy. When William and Kate got married, I didn’t protest or moan on Twitter about them. (OK, I may have complained a little on Twitter. Maybe even on this blog) It’s just that I am not very interested. The day they wed, I watched Hot Fuzz.

I don’t like the hype that surrounds it all and how it is dragged out for so long – the lead up to the birth, the labour, even waiting a few days to name the sprog. I’m sure it was done just to piss me off.

Apparently even Sky Sports News interrupted their daytime broadcast to announce the birth. Although if as a result, it distracted everyone from the footage of Manchester United’s tour of Asia and the hordes of lifelong supporters from Indonesia, that is probably a good thing.

To make matters worse, everyone is now cashing in on the birth. I have hated the Argos “alien” adverts for as long as I can remember, but now they have a baby alien, coincidentally the same day as Kate gave birth to James William Bottomtooth, or whatever she named her child.

Dear Argos. Please stop showing the alien baby adverts. In fact, please stop showing the alien adverts completely. Send them back to where they came from. If I see one more alien advert on television, I will have no choice but to make Index my primary catalogue shop. What? Index was wound-up in 2005? Bollocks.

Oh well. By the time the baby becomes king, I’ll be dead.

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