Posted by sean on October 29, 2019 at 11:02 pm in Weather with No Comments

I was about to start writing a blog post about this wonderful Autumnal weather, when I had a vague recollection of a similar post I once made.

After a quick search, I discovered that it was almost exactly a year ago – 364 days – that I took to WordPress to blog about one of life’s small pleasures.

I love this time of year. I feel especially appreciative of the weather and the associated cool temperatures, after the horrendous summer we had.

Many may have forgotten, while some (sadists) actually enjoyed the extreme heat experienced throughout the season. Day after day, week after week, month after… you get the idea. It was hot.

“It’s HOT and we’re all going to die! I blame those bloody immigrants!”

When the weather is colder, it is a lot easier to feel comfortable. If you’re too cold, you can wear an extra layer of clothing.

On the other hand, if it’s too hot, there is only so much you can do. There were nights in July, where the heat was so extreme that had I taken off any more layers, I would be removing my skin! The heat was constant too – day after day, week… sorry – I’ve already done that bit.

If THIS is the alternative to the cold and wet, I’m happy to live in October forever.

Think of me as Goldilocks. Actually, don’t – she illegally broke into and entered a house, owned by a family of three law-abiding bears *.

Note: In 1996, as a student, Daddy Bear was issued with a police caution for defecating in the woods, during a night out with friends.

Goldilocks stole and consumed her victims porridge. One bowl was too hot, another had gone cold, but one was perfect. You know the story. I am like that with weather.

The hot bowl of porridge is a heatwave in the middle of July. The cold bowl is March 2018. Remember all that snow? I couldn’t get into work, despite living practically around the corner from my office. I therefore had to use two days of my annual leave, in order to cover my absence. Too cold.

Finally, or rather this time of year, I am Goldilocks eating Baby Bear’s porridge. A cruel and callous act, but the porridge and weather is JUST RIGHT!

What happens next to Goldilocks, very much depends upon which version of the book you were read as a child. The U (suitable for all) version, involves Mr, Mrs and Baby Bear returning home to find Goldilocks in a bed, sleeping off her breakfast. They disturb the sleeping thief, who wakes up and is obviously terrified to find three bears eyeing her up and thinking of lunch. She’s also aware of a 12 month suspended sentence for cheating Little Red Riding Hood’s grandmother out of her life savings; so the porridge theft could land her in real trouble. Goldilocks runs away.

If, like me, you were read the PG (parental guidance) edition; instead of fleeing the scene of the crime, Goldilocks is brutally attacked by the bears; who later go on to eat her alive.

In court, the bears pleaded a similar case to Tony Martin. The farmer who shot and killed a burglar.

“Get orrrf my land!”

Remember, I did spend most of my junior school years in Bristol, so was read this version, instead of the less brutal tale, which I later heard attending a middle class, Church of England school in a wealthy area of Bath.

I hope the similarities between Goldilocks and myself are limited to an aversion to all things of extreme heat or cold, and I won’t be dealing with the equivalent of a bear attack anytime soon.

I have moved way off topic and things have become a little weird. Let’s therefore get back on track…

The cold, crisp Autumnal air is beautiful. Arriving home, to a toasty house, thanks to that wonderful invention, known as central heating. So cosy and welcoming. Add to the scenario, Claire and Roman waiting for me, with an almost unlimited supply of blankets, to warm me up – not forgetting food, drink and our large screen television!

I love it.

“It’s COLD and we’re all going to die! I blame those bloody immigrants!”

Unfortunately, rain is forecast for the remainder of the week, meaning that once I arrive home from work, enjoying a cosy house will be the last thing on my mind – I’ll be after a towel and change of clothes, after getting soaked!

Mind you, listening to the rain hammering against the windows, while snug in the house is blissful – assuming that I don’t have to go outside in it!

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