Posted by sean on July 1, 2006 at 10:56 pm in England, Fun At Home, Life In Bath, Nandos, TBA with No Comments

Some thoughts on England’s exit from The World Cup today…

1) Owen Hargreaves is highly underrated. I take back every bad thing I have ever said about him. He should play as a regular for England.

2) Frankie “Fat” Lampard is a massive c*nt. Every thing bad I have ever said about him still stands. He must be dropped.

3) It is impossible for England to win a World Cup penalty shootout. It has never happened and will never happen.

4) I hate Cristiano Ronaldo. I disliked him before today but he is now my most hated player ever. He is a cheat and played a major role in Wayne Rooney’s dismissal. He does not deserve to play football. I hope Wayne Rooney performs a lunging tackle on Ronaldo in training, breaking his leg and ending his career. Sorry so sound harsh but Ronaldo is a dirty, diving, cheat.

Still at least Sven will no longer be in charge of England again. I am sure every single fan will be looking forward to new manager Steve McClaren’s reign, after all he is a tactical genius.

Anyway, I watched the game with Dan, Simon and a friend of Dan’s (one of the ones that I never normally see) in the cinema. It was an interesting experience and watching the game on a massive screen in High Definition was superb, I have to get Sky HD myself!

I took this photo in the cinema. It’s of the Portugal manager Scolari.
The pot-bellied Brailian was described hilariously by the commentator as “an expectant father”

Simon and I were very patriotic throughout the game, maybe a little too patriotic. Looking back on things we may have been shouting a lot louder than everybody else and also used a few choice four letter words beginning with ‘F’, ‘W’ and ‘C’. A little regrettable when we realised there were some young children sitting just a few seats away. According to Dan though, their mouths were as foul as ours.

After the football we went to the Portuguese restaurant Nandos. We did think of bringing a box of Molotov cocktails and bombing the place but thought it would be more gentlemen-like just to order some chicken, which as always was very nice.

We then decided to go back to my flat. There was a stupidly long debate into what means of transport would take us home. Half of us wanted to take a taxi, the other half the bus.

The bus lovers won and we joined the queue to get onto one. Dan, like a Portuguese tourist does not understand the meaning of a queue system and barged his way to the front. It was at this point Simon, Watkins and I had the excellent idea not to get on the bus. We let it drive off with Dan aboard all by himself. All in all an excellent and highly amusing practical joke.

Thirty minutes later we turned up at my flat to find Dan sitting outside looking dazed and confused. I am not sure whether he actually got the joke or not. He didn’t even seem angry, which is unusual for Dan. Maybe all his rage had been used up on Frank Lampard and the Argie referee.

With Dan, Watkins and Simon all round we thought it would be good to play GoldenEye. After all, it has been ages since “The Famous Four” had a game together. The four of us used to play at Dan’s old flat in weekly games over many years. We even ran a blog site GoldenEye blog. But this died along with Watkins’ webservers.

As always there was a great deal of madness involved today, mainly between Dan and Watkins who seems to become very stressed out with one another. Well, you can’t blame Dan for getting angry. During victorious moments Watkins tends to let out huge, girl like screams of gloat which are enough to enrage even the most placid of men.

Dan is a great punisher and had he lived in The Dark Ages would have been an excellent torturer in the London Dungeons. Today’s punishment for Mr. Watkins was to be force fed Dan’s smelly sock, a sock which had not been changed for over a week and contained over 20 litres of sweat.

I have a picture of the attack below. I can assure you that Watkins is not being arse raped, even though he is in considerable distress.

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