I’ve heard all this media bollocks about children and parents queuing up for days to buy this new Harry Potter book. It begs the question – why? I’ve never read a HP book or seen a HP film, and I never intend to – maybe I’m missing out on some amazing piece of literacy and a ground breaking series. I think not.
I did some searching on the net, and if you are a HP fan you may be pleased to know the following
HARRY POTTER GETS KILLED BY VOLDEMORT
SNAPE DIES
BURBABE DIES
HEDWIG DIES
MAD-EYE DIES
SCRIMGEOUR DIES
WORMTAIL DIES
DODDY DIES
FRED WEASLEY DIES
TONKS DIES
LUPIN DIES
COLIN CREEVY DIES
HARRY POTTER COMES BACK TO LIFE
RON MARRIES HERMIONE – THEY HAVE TWO CHILDREN
HARRY MARRIES GINNY AND HAS THREE CHILDREN
DRACO HAS A SON
THE BOOK ENDS WITH ALL THE CHILDREN GETTING A TRAIN TO HOGWARTS
I hope this makes sense. Having not read a HP book, I don’t know any of the character names or locations. The point of this blog is to tell fans what happens, save them queuing for hours outside Waterstones and drowning in a flash flood, and basically to piss them off :o)
Bomberman has FINALLY been released on Xbox Live!!! I noticed it while browsing in The Arcade this evening and immediately downloaded. White happened to be round at the time, and witnessed the excitement when I started to play, the glory of my first kill and the rage when I got blown up.
Incidentally, The Somerset Ninja (me) didn’t do very well against one particular group of American and Japanese gamers. After White left though, I played again and kicked ass – beating a load of teenagers and school kids 5-1-1. I made them cry. I’m a big man!
If anyone with the game dares take me on, my gamertag is Somerset Ninja. Be warned though – I’m a bad, invincible muthafucker.
And another thing. Assuming all communication networks were taken down, how did Kevin Smith’s character manage to get onto the internet to heckle those baddies? I can’t see him having his own private, million dollar internet backbone, especially living in the basement of his mother’s house.
I went to see Die Hard 4 this evening – I am refusing to call it Die Hard 4.0 as there is no need for the decimal place! I was keen to see this at the cinema, mainly because I was not old enough to see any of the previous three Die Hard films on the big screen.
DH4’s plot sees Bruce Willis do battle with a cyber criminal who plans to bring the whole of America down via a laptop and broadband internet connection. Naturally, all the Yanks are thrown into a state of emergency when their beloved technology turns on them. If this happened in real life, I would probably watch it on BBC News 24 from the safety of my English home, laughing at them! :o)
Working in the I.T. industry myself, I noticed some obvious flaws in the film. I’ll list a few here. To be honest, the movie was so full of errors it would probably be easier to list what they got right!
- Many of the WAN IP addresses shown in the film were actually LAN ones, and contained octets values of 800+. They can only go up to 255.
- It was mentioned that the baddies may download the whole of the American citizen system (bank, insurance, health details, etc) onto a removable hard drive. It’s not like you can transfer this amount of data onto your USB memory stick! If they could find a portable device capable of holding petabytes of information, the time it would take to transfer would be far too long for a villain hell bent on world domination!
- And even if they did transfer it successfully, it would be encrypted.
- You would also have thought that even the Americans would have secondary backups!
- The hijacking of everyone’s webcam also amused me.
- As well as the fake footage of the Capitol Building blowing up. This was done as a serious scene in DH4, but Austin Powers 2 did it tongue-in-cheek (with The White House) almost 10 years ago!
The film did leave me with something though – a fear of pressing the “Delete” button on my keyboard. You never know if there is a bomb hidden in the room…
One of the funniest and most pathetic scam e-mails I have seen to date. If anybody is stupid enough to get fooled by it, quite frankly they deserve to have their bank account hijacked.
Lloyd’s TSB Group plc
25 Gresham Street
London EC2V 7HN
Greetings,
Following the recent development that Lloyd’s T.S.B should transfer some of its operations to India and that all funds in accounts that have been dormant for over 15years be transferred to the Treasury i send this mail to you.
There is a dormant account in my office,without owner and beneficiaries. as Group Director of Finance LloydsTSB Group Plc. It will be in my interest to transfer this fund worth 20,000,000 million British pounds in an account offshore. If you can be a collaborator/partner to this please indicate interest immediately for us to proceed.
Remember this is absolutely confidential,as i am seeking your assistance as the beneficiary of this unclaimed funds, since we are not allowed to operate a foreign account. Your contact phone numbers and name will be necessary for this effect.
I have reposed my confidence in you and hope that you will not disappoint me.
My Regards,
Archie G Kane,
Director of Finance
Lloyd’s TSB Group plc
Besides the poor use of the English language and obvious flaws, I had a laugh at these bits…
- No need for a ‘ in Lloyds
- Is it i or I?
- The scammers space bar is obviously fucked
- “20,000,000 million British pounds” – would that be £20,000,000,000,000 then?
What a buffoon! :o)
About Me
So you stumbled across my blog. No doubt after searching for something bizarre on Google. Before you hit that 'Back Button', why not stay and have a read for a few minutes?
If you are after a website which gives advice on how to hack an iPhone X, download the latest Steven Seagal movie, or view nudy ladies, you've come to the wrong place and may now press 'Back'.
However, if you would like a lifestyle blog, written by a 30-something chap, living in Bath (England), feast your eyes on this.
You won't discover how to copy PlayStation 4 games. What you will find is a blog, covering life in the West Country, the highs and lows of supporting two unsuccessful football teams, while sharing a house with a wife and rabbit.
All written by a man, somewhere on the sanity-scale between normal and eccentric.
