Sean's Stories

Posted by sean on June 15, 2019 at 11:31 pm in Movies with No Comments


The live action version of The Jungle Book was on telly this afternoon. I’ve actually owned the film for a while, but have never got round to watching it.

Anyway, the purpose of this blog is to ask the question – was the ending fair?

I don’t think I am giving too many spoilers away when I say that the villain of the movie – a tiger named Shere Khan – dies at the end. He is killed by Mowgli.

Mowgli is a child who lives in the jungle. Do people usually live in the jungle? Not normally. Mowgli should be in a house somewhere, playing his PlayStation, like your typical 10-year-old kid.

Shere Khan is a tiger who lives in the jungle. Do tigers usually live in the jungle? Yes they do. Tigers hunt prey. If that prey happens to be a little boy, so what. Mowgli is in tiger territory. If you ask me, Mowgli had it coming.

The other reason Shere Khan’s murder (yes, I am calling it that) is wrong, is because tigers are an endangered species. There are only 3890 of them left in the wild. Thanks to Mowgli, there are now just 3889.

There are 7.7 billion people on the planet. Had Shere Khan eaten Mowgli, the human race isn’t going to cease to exist. He probably wouldn’t even be missed.

So, next time you watch The Jungle Book, think about the impact it has on the tiger species. If you see the film’s creators, throw a bucket of animal blood over them in protest. Actually, please do NOT do that. It is definitely illegal and probably assault. Plus, I don’t want to get into trouble, like Jo Brand, for encouraging a crime to be committed.

Posted by sean on April 30, 2019 at 11:29 pm in Movies with No Comments


So, the trailer for the Sonic the Hedgehog movie dropped today…

When I use the term “dropped”, I’m not being hip or “down wit da kids”. I mean dropped as a verb.

For example:
The turd which had been hanging from the anus, finally dropped into the toilet bowl.

Had a movie about Sonic the Hedgehog been announced 25 years ago, the childhood-me would have immediately dropped into his underwear, with excitement.

Despite me still being a Sonic fan, I was thankfully able to control my bodily functions. Maybe that was because I wasn’t quite as excited as I should be.

This is the Sonic that I remember…

The trailer is nothing like this. At times, it reminded me more of the effects of the ketamine, which I was given, while on the operating table, back in January.

Why is Dr Robotnik portrayed by Jim Carrey?

Do the movie producers know who the character actually is?

A mad scientist, with a morbidly obese BMI, furious temper, thunderous voice and wild hair. Step forward, Mr Brian Blessed.

No doubt the movie will be crap. But kids will pay to watch it, however poor it is. The one thing it may have going for it, is the fact it’ll be one of those films that is so bad, it’s good. OK, not “good”, maybe “average”. I’m sure a lot of people will watch it… once it ends up on those pirate websites.

I think I’ll give the cinema a miss, instead waiting for the Directors Cut edition on DVD. This version is said to include deleted scenes, featuring Dr Robotnik recovering, after Sonic blew up his flying-car-thingy. He suffers some quite horrific third degree burns, which require a skin graft, followed by months of painful rehabilitation.

 

Posted by sean on April 21, 2019 at 11:05 pm in Movies with No Comments


I watched Pulp Fiction for the first time ever this afternoon. What a nice, family film to enjoy on a sunny Easter Sunday. Maybe on May Day, I’ll watch Carrie.

Two observations…

  • Pulp Fiction is good, but it’s not great, like the hype suggests it should be. My favourite Quentin Tarantino movie was and remains Django Unchained. Hate me, film-buffs.
  • Before today, I didn’t realise Harvey Keitel’s character, Winston Wolfe, was originally from PF. I thought WW was a creation of Direct Line insurance.

Posted by sean on February 11, 2019 at 11:43 pm in Movies with No Comments


The Disney classic, Aladdin, is one of my favourite films of all time and along with The Lion King, easily my No.1 movie from the Walt Disney series. Yes, I can have two number ones!

I was therefore dubious when I heard that a live action version of the cartoon was being made. One of the best aspects of the original movie was the Genie. For me, Robin Williams’ portrayal of the big blue dude, made the film as great as it was.

Robin Williams was such a fantastic actor and comedian, that he could turn a good movie into an excellent one. He had the ability to literally ‘steal the show’, without making the whole thing all about him. This is exactly what he did, while playing the role of Genie, back in 1992.

As we all know, Mr Williams is tragically no longer with us. The creators of the new live action version, must have had a very tough and sensitive decision to make, when choosing who should play Genie in the remake.

They went for  Will Smith. When I heard the news, I was worried. Based upon the teaser trailer, which was released yesterday, there has been nothing to reassure me that I should not be concerned.

Why don’t I like Will Smith’s Genie? The honest answer… he’s not Robin Williams. I don’t think that I would be happy with any actor undertaking the sacred role.

The problem with Will Smith is…

… he’s not Robin Williams 🙁

Posted by sean on February 2, 2019 at 4:28 pm in Movies with No Comments


February 2nd.

Anyone wake up to Sonny and Cher, on the clock radio?

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