I escaped the office this afternoon to attend some customer service course. Here are some of the things I learnt…
- DO smile at the customers – but not in a seedy way, especially at the young women.
- DO try to help customers – but NOT if your customer is trying to kill other customers.
- DON’T tell customers to “fuck off” – even if they are c***s.
- DON’T throw glasses of water onto the customers – unless they’re on fire.
- The customer is ALWAYS right – except when they’re wrong.
Some of these may not be totally true; I think I fell asleep at one point during the course, so don’t fully remember everything. Overall the afternoon was a total let down; mainly because they didn’t give out any free cake. Rule No.1 for any lecturer – if you want respect from your students, feed them cake.
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