Sean's Stories

Posted by sean on October 18, 2018 at 11:37 pm in Work Activities with No Comments

After taking over five months off work, I finally returned yesterday. After two half days back in the office, it feels like I have never been away!

Having completely destroyed my old desk, before I became poorly, I was given a brand new table to sit at, in a different area of the room.

I may have slightly exaggerated back there. My old desk wasn’t completely killed, although it wasn’t far off. The reason for my new seating arrangement was to get me working with a better posture and keeping me well. I am sure my department don’t want me falling ill for almost half a year again, any more than I do!

Moving desks was almost as bad as moving house. I have accrued so much crap over the years – 99% of it in no way work-related.

Here are some of the most useless finds from my old desk.

  • A 2017 Leeds United calendar
  • About half a dozen coffee mugs
  • Packets of out-of-date food
  • Enough medication to open a chemist
  • Pins, used Post-It notes and loose staples
  • Back issues of the staff newspaper
  • An old air fresher
  • An empty bottle of hand gel
  • Loads and loads of pens
  • A USB stick with nothing on it
  • Old headphones
  • An old, broken headset which I’ve never used
  • Coffee that looks so stale, it’ll be deadly if consumed

You would have thought that I would have thrown all of this shit in the bin. I haven’t. Besides the old food, most of it still remains – even the dodgy coffee…

Posted by sean on January 22, 2018 at 11:11 pm in Work Activities with No Comments

The plan that could not fail – to win the lottery – somehow failed. Our work syndicate did not win. I am told some greedy woman scooped the jackpot for herself. Bitch.

Posted by sean on January 19, 2018 at 10:16 pm in Work Activities with No Comments

I have some fantastic news to announce. I have won the lottery. Well, not quite yet. But I will do.

We have a syndicate at work, involving 31 tickets being purchased. How can we possibly lose?

In addition to this, we also have two Euromillions tickets. This is because we were originally supposed to buy 33 tickets, but somebody put a Euro coin into the money jar, leaving us a quid short. As we could only buy 31 tickets (still more than enough to win the lottery), we had a spare pound, which was used to purchase a scratch card. This scratch card won £5. So, while we were effectively £4 up on the deal. Still with me? This money was used to buy two Euromillions tickets.

I don’t want to be greedy, but I’m pretty sure that we’re definitely going to win both lotteries!

Posted by sean on January 12, 2018 at 9:59 pm in Work Activities with No Comments

After just five days back at work, it feels like I never had annual leave a week ago! Feeling very tired this Friday night. Can I have another week off?

Posted by sean on September 15, 2017 at 8:43 am in Work Activities with No Comments

My colleagues in the neighbouring office are discussing what bird of prey is the easiest to train. 

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