Posted by sean on May 9, 2020 at 1:31 pm in Work Activities with No Comments

I received an email from work offering me a free Will.

Given the fact we’re in the middle of a deadly worldwide pandemic, I’m not sure if I should be grateful or terrified.

Posted by sean on November 5, 2019 at 11:50 pm in Work Activities with No Comments

Today was my first day off since dropping my hours and going part time.

This day off is known, within the department,  as a “non-working day”. Smart arses may argue that I have five of these a week already.

This “NWD”, however, allows me to stay at home, wearing my pyjamas all day, should I so wish. Of course, that would be incredibly slobbish behaviour and something I would not be a part of. Honest…

Today’s pyjama party was lovely, although I am now confused about what to call it, or the days either side…

Tuesday is now like a weekend for me – as that will be the day I have been allowed to skive off every week.

Therefore, Mondays are the new Friday – as a weekend always follows Friday.

Wednesday – as in tomorrow – will now be called Monday – as the day after the weekend is always a Monday.

Monday is traditionally a day where everyone is depressed about having to return to work, spending most of the morning drinking coffee, chatting with equally melancholy colleagues and browsing the endless “Deal of the Day” pages on Amazon.

A coffee machine like this at work? I wish!

Therefore, for me at least, the traditional Wednesday is now Monday. Makes perfect sense. Even Wayne Rooney could understand it.

This just leaves one question… if Monday has now become Friday, what will the existing Friday – i.e. Friday 8th November (this week) – become?

I suppose that the most logical and sensible thing to do, would be to have Friday I and Friday II.

I can’t think of any other way of handling the situation.

My new week
Friday I
Friday II

Posted by sean on October 30, 2019 at 2:08 pm in Work Activities with No Comments

Introducing the Office Bunny!

Yes, that is Shaun the Sheep peering up at the camera. He had been sitting on top of my computer for the past 5+ years, but was kicked off his throne this morning by Rabbit Di Nero.

I am aware that sharing my workspace with a stuffed, life size rabbit could be considered a tad excessive. As a result, I know that I am running the risk of coming into work one morning, to find this mouse mat on my desk…

Posted by sean on October 29, 2019 at 8:52 am in Health, Work Activities with No Comments

This week is my last working five days

Monday to Friday is over for me.

From next week, I will no longer be working Tuesdays.

Dropping a day is not a decision that I took lightly. It will obviously have financial implications for me, plus now I have signed that change of conditions form, there is no going back.

You will probably be aware, either from either knowing me, or reading this blog, that I have had a particularly tough time, when it comes to my health over the last two years.

Thankfully, I have come out of the other side and am now much improved. Despite this, I still find work tiring and by the end of a five day week, am often left shattered.

I have noticed that, following a single day off work for a Bank Holiday, I feel remarkably better and less tired, come Friday evening.

I am therefore hoping that this new working schedule will leave me feeling even better, both physically and mentally.

Lastly, a treat for stats fans…

  • I have worked since 1st September 2003.
  • This is 16 years, plus a little bit more.
  • I have deduced days in account of weekends, Bank Holidays and annual leave and can reveal that I have worked appropriately 3,500 days *. This does not include deductions for sickness.

Pretty sure this justifies me in dropping one day a week…

26,250 hours, 1,575,000 minutes, 94,500,000 seconds.

… tomorrow I will tell you how many weeks I spent on the work toilet, over those last 16 years.

Considering that I have never worked for Sports Direct, you can be sure that the grand total will be a tad more than five minutes.

Posted by sean on October 27, 2019 at 6:21 pm in Spiders, Work Activities with No Comments

The clocks have now gone back, I had a good night’s sleep and have now settled down to blog the second installment of my Friday Frights, while Claire watches Liverpool play Spurs.

Where did we finish off last night? Oh yes, I had cleaned Neil Warnock and nursed him back to full, loud health. No idea what I am on about? Read this.

Let’s forget about Neil Warnock for this post and move onto the second scare I had at work. A scare, which I like to call, a ‘Friday Fright’.

Unlike dropping an ear bud onto a dirty bathroom floor, this ‘FF’ really was a moment of terror!

There couldn’t have been more than fifteen minutes before the end of the day, and indeed the end of the week, when I saw it…

I had not seen it before. At first I thought it was a bit of string or a mark on the wall. It could have even been a bit of dirt – the IT Department isn’t the cleanest of locations.

I then realised, to my horror, what the mark on the wall really was, and the reason why I had not seen it before. The reason why I had not noticed the marking until Friday afternoon, was because it hadn’t been there before. Not there because the thing on the wall had legs – eight to be exact – and had previously not walked/crawled into my workspace territory.

There was no way I was going to deal with the eight-legged freak – anybody who knows me, or reads this blog will be fully aware of that! I purposely give spiders a wide berth. My two colleagues share my hate of the things, so there was no chance of me calling upon them for aid. Even if I was a spider lover, catching the thing would involve climbing up onto the table. Asking me to perform such a feat would be a wasted effort – you may as well suggest I conquer Everest, such is the impossible nature of the challenge.

A helpful colleague from another area of the office appeared. Clearly hearing my cowardly wimpers, they had made their way to my workspace, to see if they could help rescue me from the cause of my peril – I.e. catch the spider.

I was warned that it may not be possible to catch the spider, as it had positioned itself in the safety of a gap in the wall. What’s worse, is if the monster was disturbed and knocked from the wall, it could fall onto my desk or the floor! Horror of horrors!

Now thankfully BANNED by the British Board of Film Classification.

If the spider is hiding on the wall, I know where it is – despite hating the fucking thing. If it becomes lost under a pile of papers on my desk, or on the floor, I would forever be on edge, waiting to be attacked, as a spider runs up my arm or trouser leg.

It was decided that the safest thing for everyone involved, sadly including the spider, was to leave it well alone and hope it dies, or decides to go back to where it came from – how very Brexit!

Ever wondered why the European Union don’t seem bothered about the UK leaving?

I was happy with this. My positivity was certainly helped by the fact that I was going home for the weekend and I was able to forget about the scary creature for a couple of days.

Those couple of days are now over. I am due back at my desk in the morning. The spider will be waiting for me. Gulp…

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