Sean's Stories

Posted by sean on August 26, 2014 at 9:42 am in Animals with No Comments


There were trillions of slugs on the streets of Weston this morning. On the short walk to work, I made many observations on the slimy creatures.

Most of the slugs were dead, with their guts spawn across the pavement. The fatal injury was probably caused by a bird’s beak, but most likely, the foot of a person, not looking where they are going, while walking to work. It was a gruesome sight and reminded me of the Normany Beach scene from Saving Private Ryan.

My second observation was that slugs are cannibals. Surrounding most of the dead slugs, were other slugs, gorging on the bowels and organs of their dead and dying relatives.

Observation number three, is that in today’s society, where we are all part of the ‘Health and Safety Gone Mad Brigade’, these slugs are a real issue. A danger. If someone were to slip on one of these things, they could break their leg, or worse, die. You’ll get no sympathy, either. Imagine going to A&E, with a broken arm. They ask how you hurt yourself. “I slipped on a slug”. That’s even more pathetic than a banana skin. You would be laughed at.

My fourth and final observation is, unlike snails, you can’t even eat slugs. Somebody must have tried, which is pretty disgusting in all honesty.

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