Sean's Stories

Posted by sean on February 12, 2020 at 9:24 am in Have I Got News For You, Spiders with No Comments


In today’s blog, I am going to tell you of one of the most horrific and frightening stories, I have ever had the displeasure of reading.

No, it isn’t Boris Johnson’s 2020 Manifesto. Although that is terrifying, this tale is far scarier!

Take a look at the photo below. What do you see? A woman in a hoody. A little overkill on the eye makeup, perhaps; but nothing to get perturbed by.

Take a closer observation…

Have you spotted it? Hiding in her hood…

It’s the stuff of nightmares!

The story tells how this woman took a selfie, after a heavy night out and feeling rather hungover, before sending it to her girlfriends.

Amazingly, the woman didn’t notice the Spawn of Hades, casually chilling out next to her head. It must have been one major drinking session!

While the selfie-taker’s eyes were too affected by her intoxication, her friends who received the photo were not so blind drunk.

Unsurprisingly, her mates were mortified by the sight that befell them – and I’m not referring to the eyeshadow!

Thinking that the end was nigh for their friend, the girls replied with messages containing understandable alarm and concern.

The story did not say what happened next, apart from how the selfie-girl was not troubled by her friends’ discovery, which quite frankly is remarkable.

I honestly couldn’t tell you how I would react if that had been me. Once the realisation had kicked in that I was not dreaming, and there really was a spider the size of a dinner plate within an inch of my ear, then the result would probably be one of these catastrophic outcomes…

  • Pour a Jerrycan of petrol over myself and light a match.
  • Find the nearest mallet and repeatedly hammer my head until the spider dies.
  • Feed myself to a Great White Shark, under the agreement that it also eats the spider for dessert.
  • Slowly but calmly, remove the hoody, before carefully collecting the spider under a glass and releasing it into the back garden… haha! Yeah, right!

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