Sean's Stories

Posted by sean on March 13, 2019 at 6:14 pm in Geek Stuff with No Comments


March 12th.

It was a very special birthday yesterday…

You may already be aware of who it was for – if not, perhaps you noticed the rather jazzy Google logo?

The image on the Google website was all singing and dancing. This image is not. Being a tax payer, one can’t afford to use Animated GIFs – plus they’re so 1998.

In case you still don’t know what the hell I am on about, the Internet turned 30 yesterday… although there are many who still question the correct date – just like they do the moon landing, if Planet Earth is flat and whether or not the Cigarette Smoking Man (from X Files) is dead. Basically, people with too much time on their hands and no girlfriend.

I very much hope that you will all take a quick break from reading my blog, to sing “Happy birthday”, followed by “For he’s a jolly good fellow *” to the Internet. After all, without it, there would be no Sean’s Stories; trolls would be a make-believe creature, that lives under a bridge; and we would still be allowing Gary Glitter to babysit our kids.

Is the Internet a “he”? I’m sure there couldn’t have been all this gender fuss in 1989. All I cared about back then was Lego, catching snails from the garden and baking rock cakes. Mind you, I was 7.

Remember these? It’s a Compact Disc (kids – ask your grandparents). You got them free in absolutely every magazine from PC Pro to Horse and Hound to Gordon the Gopher Weekly.

You could also pick the CDs up (again, for nowt) from shops like HMV. This could result in hilarious scenarios, where you would scare your parents (or any other older relative, shopping with you), into believing you had taken up shoplifting; after witnessing their blue-eyed boy picking up a CD from the shelf and walking out of the shop, without paying.

Besides tricking parents into thinking they had raised a child destined for The Jeremy Kyle Show – or, given the fact this would have been over 15 years ago, Trisha and Kilroy – the CDs had many other great uses…

  1. A surprisingly effective frisbee.
  2. Tricking the gullible that the CD contained the entire internet.
  3. A mirror – useful for putting on lipstick, combing your hair and sticking contact lenses into your eyes.
  4. Nicking 50 of the things and sticking them to your bedroom wall. After seeing something similar on Changing Rooms and thinking it would be cool, you soon realised it looked shit.
  5. Trying to write data to them, using a CD Writer. You knew it wouldn’t work, but as blank CDs cost £2 in 1999, it was worth trying. It didn’t work.
  6. Believe it or not, the CDs could even help connect you to the Internet! Although the photo above is a Freeserve CD, and if my memory serves me right, Freeserve was crap.

I can’t think of any other special birthdays yesterday…

Oh wait! How stupid of me. Former Leeds United flop, Seth Johnson, turned 90. Sorry, I meant 40. I got confused, as during his time at Leeds, he had all the speed, physique and bone strength of an OAP. Yes, I’m a fine one to talk, but I don’t claim to be a professional footballer.

There was another birthday too.

Posted by sean on October 17, 2018 at 8:13 pm in Geek Stuff with No Comments


I can officially tell you how to get a free iPhone X. There is no catch and it won’t cost you anything.

This is a genuine life hack, which “they” don’t want you to know.

OK, a few things… I don’t know who “they” are. Although, after reading numerous online advertisements, “they” are scared of everything from slot machine hacks, to anti-aging cream, which makes a 90-year-old woman look nine. “They” must be terrified of this!

By following MY simple steps, your friends and colleagues will think you have an iPhone X…

Oh, and my tips do not exactly get you a physical phone, although everyone will think you have one – and isn’t that the most important thing?

Considering most iPhone X owners are smug bastards, who love to show off, my FREE advice will produce the same outcome as owning the overpriced brick…

You can be a smug git, while your friends will be green with envy – unless they own an Android, in which case they won’t give a shit about your silly toy fruit telephone.

Right, here’s the advice… On your Nokia 3310 open your email settings. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a Nokia 3310 – this trick will work with inferior handsets (e.g. iPhone 8) too.

While in your email settings, change your signature to “Sent from my iPhone X”. This will make any recipient believe you have a brand spanking new, overpriced, twat toy.

Here is an email I sent to the World’s Number 1 iPhone Fan – Bill Gates!

 

Posted by sean on October 16, 2018 at 11:58 pm in Geek Stuff with No Comments


I am a winner!

Every Friday, I enter competitions. I take to Twitter and search for the three hashtag- #Giveaway, #Competition and #FreebieFriday.

Entry to these competitions, found in the resulting searches, usually involves you following the company running the contest, as well as retweeting and liking the tweet in question.

To avoid filling my followers’ timelines with annoying company endorsing retweets, I have a seperate Twitter account for entering these compos.

I’ve entered contests, where you can win anything from a teabag to a top of the range television. Today’s prize was neither drinkable or watchable.

I won…

An Adidas football!

What a fantastic prize for somebody who hasn’t kicked a ball since 2006 and uses a mobility scooter, whenever he’s out of the house.

I think I may take it to Bath City and ask if the players can sign it for me. Being realistic, it’ll remain in the jiffy bag it arrived in, sat in a cupboard gathering dust, before eventually getting relegated to the garage.

 

 

Posted by sean on July 30, 2018 at 6:43 pm in Geek Stuff with No Comments


Despite completing the sticker albums for both World Cup 2014 and Euro 2016, I swore blindly that I would NEVER do the same for this year’s tournament. How wrong I was. After kindly being gifted an album and no less than 100 packets to fill it with, I thought it would be rude not to go the full hog and make it 3 out of 3 and spend even more money on grossly overpriced sticky bits of paper.

Thinking 300 stickers would be enough to complete this year’s offering, I spent over £100 on two further boxes. It took ages to peel and meticulously place the sticker into the album, using all the care and precision of a brain surgeon.

This process seemed to take forever. At the end of the task, I had a huge pile of swapsies (duplicate stickers) and an incomplete album. In fact, from 300 stickers, I only managed to finish two teams – Brazil and England!
It wasn’t quite as bad as it sounds. I was only 83 stickers short of completing the album. It is possible to order up to 50 stickers of your choice, direct from the manufacturer, Panini, I ordered 50 and kindly asked Claire to request the remaining 33.

The remaining stickers arrived surprisingly promptly, and according to the tracking details, went on an interesting journey, visiting all the glamorous locations across Europe – Bologna, Leipzing and… Swindon.

Posted by sean on January 20, 2018 at 7:39 pm in Geek Stuff with No Comments


My laptop took all afternoon and a fair chunk of this evening to install some updates from Windows. I have no idea why this latest update was so big, but I was told in no uncertain terms that if I need not perform this update, I would not receive any further updates and my PC would be a risk. Uh-oh. The problem was, to install the update, to allow updates, I needed to install ANOTHER update – to the BIOS.

I performed the BIOS update with ease (I even took a photo!). The Windows update, though, took ages. Hours and hours, in fact. At least my laptop didn’t start updating itself, while I was doing something important, which is when they normally strike (cheers, Bill Gates).

  • About Me

    So you stumbled across my blog. No doubt after searching for something bizarre on Google. Before you hit that 'Back Button', why not stay and have a read for a few minutes?

    If you are after a website which gives advice on how to hack an iPhone X, download the latest Steven Seagal movie, or view nudy ladies, you've come to the wrong place and may now press 'Back'.

    However, if you would like a lifestyle blog, written by a 30-something chap, living in Bath (England), feast your eyes on this.

    You won't discover how to copy PlayStation 4 games. What you will find is a blog, covering life in the West Country, the highs and lows of supporting two unsuccessful football teams, while sharing a house with a wife and rabbit.

    All written by a man, somewhere on the sanity-scale between normal and eccentric.
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