Yesterday evening Mr. Watkins and Simon came round for a session of GoldenEye. It was intense. Watkins romped his way to victory and won all but one of the games, laughing, screeching and farting his way through the night. He really is a dirty little bastard.

We compiled an excellent musical soundtrack to accompany game play. The excellent Club Foot by Kasabian got the blood boiling and caused great aggravation. Then there was the 90s classic Rhythm Is a Dancer by Snap! The lyrics being re-worked by myself to “Watkins is a wanker, he’s a source of anger”.

Like most GoldenEye sessions it was noisy, mainly due to victory shrieks from Watkins. I did feel a little sorry for one of my flatmates in the next room. She was throwing a dinner party and her guests must have thought I was looking after some kind of wild animal.

After GoldenEye we had another go at GARY LINEKER’S FOOTBALL CHALLENGE. Last week we realised that the two player game was seriously flawed so decided to work together in the single player option.

According to Mr. Lineker, 20 questions must be answered to win the game. If you get 1 answer wrong you get a yellow card, get 2 wrong and get a red and its game over. Turns out, due to yet another software glitch you get a straight red after getting just 1 question incorrect.

We resorted to cheating using Google. That didn’t help much. The questions on the DVD are inaccurate. For example “In 2004, Paul Robinson made his England debut against which team?”. He made his debut in 2003… for God’s sake Gary, sort it out!

Some of the questions were just so obscure, who the hell knows the greatest goal average in any World Cup? I don’t know what other questions are contained on the DVD, maybe next time we we’ll be asked to name Michael Owen’s first childhood pet and Rio Ferdinand’s mother’s maiden name.

Moving on… I went shopping at my local grocery store, Coopers this afternoon. Amongst other items, I bought a packet of cheese. When I got home I realised, luckily before consumption, that the cheese was 2 days out of date. Old food is a big deal in the food traders industry and one that raises concerns as to the level of Coopers’ food standards.

I am very tempted to call Trading Standards. Generally, I find the quality of service in the shop absolutely shit and nothing would give me greater pleasure than to see it shut down and replaced by a Tesco Metro or Sainsbury’s Local. Rest assured Mr. Cooper, I won’t be buying from your shop again.