Why do murderers, sick perverts and rapists always look dodgy? Anyone strange looking should be locked up before they can commit crimes – I suppose Chelsea would have to find a new manager if that happened. *
I have it! After waiting in a MASSIVE queue, I finally have it. As I blog, the game is installing and the milk for the cocoa is being heated in the microwave… I am going to have some fun!
Tonight’s the night. In little over 5 hour’s time, I will (hopefully) have my grubby little mits on a copy of Grand Theft Auto 4. I’m off to Asda at 11pm, hoping to buy the game at 00:01.
Ever since I got home from work, I have had the soundtrack for the original GTA game playing on loop – “Take it to the edge, there`s nowhere to hide, and call up the boy; let`s go for a joyride…”
You know that feeling you got as a kid the night before Christmas? I’ve had that all day, and I am so tense with excitement right now. To calm my nerves, I am meeting work colleagues in town for a few pints, before driving to Asda *.
* don’t worry. Even though it would be rather fitting for GTA, the driver will not be drinking.
If, however, we are not able to get a copy tonight, there will be a car chase after the person who buys the last copy.
This evening I dared to enter the caldron of football that is The Carlsberg Stand at Yeovil Town’s Huish Park. I posed as a Yeovil fan in order to watch my real club, Leeds United, play.
While I was discreet in my support, some other Leeds fans pretending to be ‘Yeocals’ were not. Firstly the broad Yorkshire accent gave it away (something that I didn’t have to worry about); but the thing that really revealed their identity was that when Leeds scored, chants of “WE ALL LOVE LEEDS” broke out. Cue an army of police and a departure of joyous Leeds fans.
Luckily I wasn’t found out. Luckily Yeovil didn’t score. Luckily Leeds won. Luckily I got home in one piece (even though it did take 45 minutes to get out the car park)!
Despite not being a Yeovil fan, I was amused by some of their chants…
HAVE YOU EVER WON THE CONFERENCE, HAVE YOU F**K
– As if Leeds United care about non-league competitions
I’D RATHER BE A FARMER THAN A CHAV
And when the “record” crowd for Yeovil was announced…
- YOU ONLY CAME TO WATCH YEOVIL…
After last night’s fiasco with the floodlight failure in the highly prestige Somerset Cup Final, I e-mailed the Somerset FA to complain…
In the politest possible way, I called them all useless tossers, asked for a refund on tickets & travel and, in true Dr. Evil style, demanded one hundred BILLION dollars *
Let’s see if they reply…
* OK, that last bit was a lie
This morning I had to go to Devizes on a top secret work related mission. Ahead of my trip into Wiltshire, I was warned about locals with webbed feet and six fingers. Having spent an hour in the town centre, I can confirm that it is indeed Webbedville.
After missing the 12 O’clock bus back to Bath, I had an hour to kill while waiting for another. Once I had visited Marks & Spencer’s and Greggs for lunch, I took a few random photos. Sorry – no pics of the locals; they’re too frightening – even for the internet!
I’ve just got back from Weston Super Mare, having watched Bath City play Paulton Rovers in the Somerset Cup Final.
After 90 minutes it was 1-1.
5 minutes into extra time, the flood lights failed.
4 minutes into the darkness, we hear the game has been abandoned and will be replayed in the summer.
2 minutes later, the floodlights come back on. Can we carry on playing? Can we f##k!
That trip cost me £30!
I do hear that the Somerset FA are planning on compensating fans by letting them have a piss up in the Bath Ales brewery; however, they are yet to find anyone capable of organising it.
[ Prescott tells of bulimia battle ]
What a bizarre story. I can see John Prescott doing the binge eating part. Think he has forgotten the bit where you stick your fingers down your throat.
Obviously Sutton didn’t read the script. The rock-bottom team were supposed to roll over and die, allowing Bath City to get into the play offs. Grrr…
Just connected the optical cable to the PS3. Gran Turismo Prologue sounds so much better in surround. This is seriously wetting my appetite for GTA4 – I want to mow down pedestrians and shoot policemen in high def!