Sean's Stories

Posted by sean on December 3, 2018 at 12:25 am in Rabbits, Ventures Outside Of Bath with No Comments


It was my wonderful wife’s birthday last week. She was celebrating the big ’30’. Claire was complaining of being old. Nothing has changed. It is hardly like she transformed from Miley Cyrus to Jackie Stallone, as the clock struck midnight, on the day of her birthday.

Anyway, given the fact I am 36, I hardly think it is time for her to apply for an older person’s railcard – although I’ve promised her unlimited use of my stairlift and mobility scooter. Us old folk need to stick together.

To celebrate her special day, we decided to join her parents, in braving the gales and rain of Storm Diana, and go Christmas shopping at Clark’s Village in Street. Did I say we were “celebrating”?

Amongst all the outlets in the open air retail centre, was a shop which really caught my eye. Proving that age is simply a number and in no way a reflection of mental maturity, I simply had to take photographic evidence, that a business could share a name with my pet rabbit… and an empire of 57 million people.

Besides getting excited about shop-fronts, I am also able to gift some pretty awesome birthday pressies – if I do say so myself.

Look what I bought Claire. Can you guess who it is?

Posted by sean on February 11, 2018 at 10:44 pm in Ventures Outside Of Bath with No Comments


There is a reason that I try to avoid self-service salad bars – hygiene. Some may call this paranoid. What I witnessed yesterday, gives weight to my reasons to steer clear of these bacteria traps…

While visiting a local Harvester restaurant, I observed the comings and goings from the salad counter. It was naturally busy. A group of young children gathered around a bread basket. One took a roll, using his hands. His father then arrived, they had a chat, before the kid returned the roll (still in his clenched fist), alongside all it’s brothers and sisters.

It gets worse. Much worse…

Towards the end of the meal, another diner – this time a grown man, so totally unacceptable – approached the dressings and condiments. Without giving a second thought, he picked up a ladle from a bowl of some sauce, brought it to his lips, had a taste, before returning it! Ewww! Ewww! Ewww! These people are pigs!

In other ‘Salad Bar Sightings’, I spotted a former Bath City player. I’m pleased to say that he had impeccable buffet etiquette, compared to many of the other diners.

Posted by sean on September 1, 2016 at 5:38 pm in Bath City, Ventures Outside Of Bath with No Comments


After a very busy week at work, I was hoping for a restful Bank Holiday weekend. What I got was far from relaxing. I was out of the house every one of the three days. I’ve returned to work for a break!

Saturday was the quietest day. I went to Twerton Park, home of Bath City, where I will no doubt find myself standing in all manners of weathers and temperatures over the next eight months. City were playing East Thurrock United. If that name sounds familiar to you, it is because I have blogged about them before. They beat us 7-1 in the FA Cup. Things looked ominous. I needn’t had worried. A very early goal for City helped us win 2-1, albeit with a nervy final few minutes.

On Sunday we made our now annual trip to Longleat. We were stupid to do so. It was a Bank Holiday weekend, which meant two things – lots of people and lots of rain. We got both.

In between sessions of queueing in heavy rain, we did manage to ride the boat around the lake, where we saw sea lions and gorillas. Apparently hippos are in there somewhere too, but I didn’t see any. As well as the boat, we rode a double decker bus around the safari park. Many of the animals had shown more sense than us and taken shelter from the rain. The monkeys, however, were out in their numbers, and caused the highlight of the day for me, when they destroyed a roof rack of car, and attempted to eat a radio aerial on another.

 

We took a trip to the Dorset coast on Bank Holiday Monday, to watch Bath City play Poole Town. I didn’t get chance to see the donkeys on the beach, so had to settle for watching them on the football field instead. It was a game Bath really should have won, as they dominated and literally did everything but score a goal. I wasn’t at all surprised when Poole scored in the final minute, to claim an undeserved win. It was so inevitable, I wasn’t even disappointed.

Despite the warm weather, the coach trip home didn’t have the unbearable heat of the Margate journey, a few weeks earlier – this was mainly thanks to the driver turning on the air conditioning. It also took have as long to get back to Bath, which meant we were able to treat ourselves to a McDonalds on our return.

Posted by sean on May 18, 2016 at 4:45 pm in Ventures Outside Of Bath with No Comments


I travelled far, far away from Bath at the weekend. We went all the way to a little village called London – you may have heard of it. Sorry I haven’t blogged about it until now, I ended up going to jail and I had to miss three turns, as I didn’t have a Get Out Of Jail Free Card.

Our visit to London was just what you see on the movies. Chimney sweeps, people singing in the streets and eating jellied eels… ok, that was a lie. We did drive through a market though and spent the evening at the dog tracks.

We did ‘the dogs’ in style. None of this standing around out in the rain. We watched all the action from inside, while a waiter brought us a 3 course meal. A lady also came to our table to take bets. I really pushed the boat out and spent £2 on each bet. I think I may have a gambling problem. Like gambling on horses, I know nothing about dogs, so instead of looking at odds, form and all that rubbish, I simply picked the names of the dogs I liked. Out of 13 races, I won 2. Luckily, one of my wins was a no-hoper (probably blind, with three legs). This mongrel ran home to victory and I won over £20. At the end of the night, I was a few quid down. I am not going to find a career in gambling, but I did have a good evening.

We spent the night in a Holiday Inn. When we normally stay away from home, we use Premier Inn (endorsed by Sir Lenny Henry). I can see where the “Premier” in Premier Inn comes from – in the past, we have been spoilt. The Holiday Inn we stayed at, was a dive compared to what we are used to. It was more like a youth hostel. It was dirty, the lift spelt of vomit, there were marks on the carpet outside our room and a worrying white stain on our bedsheets. Breakfast left a lot to be desired too – my bowl and cutlery were dirty. Needless to say, we’ll never be staying in one of those “hotels” again.

While I enjoyed getting away from the busy, bustling city life of Bath, and escaping to the peaceful, slow life of London, it was very nice to come home – especially to a clean and comfortable bed (something we didn’t experience at the hotel).

Posted by sean on April 19, 2016 at 3:46 pm in Ventures Outside Of Bath with No Comments


We bravely ventured to Keynsham at the weekend. The only time we go there is to go to Iceland and the pound shop. We’re not posh people, but it felt very much like Hyacinth Bucket, from Keeping Up Appearances, visiting her sister on the council estate.

While walking down the high street, an older lady approached Claire, who was wearing her Bath City football shirt. The lady commented on Claire’s shirt, admitting that she had mistaken it for a “Leave the EU” protest. This makes a change, the blank and white shirt of Bath is normally mistaken for Newcastle United.

Despite knowing that it was a football shirt and nothing to do with a campaign to leave the European Union, the woman unleashed a tirade of xenophobia. The usual stuff – “they took our jobs”, “they’re taking our schools”, “they’re on benefits”. It was just like an Adolf Hitler speech, apart from the fact she was speaking English in a Bristolian accent.

Whether you’re pro-EU or against, the choice is yours. You’re not a racist either way. However, this woman clearly did hold discriminatory views and was almost certainly a Daily Mail reader.

Claire just nodded, while I ignored the woman’s rant. Getting into a debate with her would no doubt cause a huge argument, with demands for me to be sent back to where I came from… Bath.

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