I was always taught that sport and exercise was good for your body. So why is it that after playing football over the last few weeks my right hamstring feels like it has been grabbed from both ends and pulled from here to bloody Scotland?
To find a resolution to my problem, I did what any sensible minded individual who cares about their health and well being would do in this situation – consult an internet web forum.
The diagnosis: Rest until the pain goes and in future stretch before and after play – something which I haven’t been doing. I vaguely remember being told to do this during a P.E. at school, a lesson I didn’t pay much attention to, or even regularly attend. Most of the time I escaped and went to a friend’s house to play Super Mario Kart and Bomberman 2.
Also, talking to people I know who play football, they all seem to be carrying long term injuries and playing through them. Maybe that’s what I just have to do. Bite my bottom lip, try not to cry and play through the pain barrier. I’ll probably end up with chronic arthritis when I am 35 but at least I’ll have had a few good years of football.
My coach Mr. Goater seems to be the only person I know to play football and not get injured. I have no explanation as to why this is. Some people may argue that he is just incredibly fit and an experienced football player, I disagree. I think he is a Terminator style robot sent from another planet and under his skin lies hard titanium. Next time we play I think I will slide tackle him, breaking his skin and see if I can expose his metallic bones. I hope he is not reading this…
London isn’t the only place that gets dangerous criminals. Little old Bath had a siege today, just a two minute walk from my house!
OK, it’s hardly Bin Laden’s buddies blowing themselves up and crashing planes but for a small city like Bath it’s big news. I haven’t seen the residents this excited since they printed that paedophile’s address in the paper.
Coming back from work I noticed a policeman directing lots of traffic close to my house. I thought it was a little odd but just put it down to further road works as we have had a lot of that lately. I continued down to the local shops, ignoring the heavy stream of traffic that was being diverted up the high street.
I was tempted to investigate but quite frankly, after my long day at work couldn’t be arsed. I’m kind of kicking myself now, as looking at the BBC website it sounds like I could have witnessed some exiting drama :o)
There will probably be nothing else of interest in Bath until 2026 when a 44 year old male blogger will threaten to torch himself and house following yet another season where Leeds United fail to reach promotion.
Well The World Cup is over for another four years and I have totally forgotten about it. Well almost. Here are some clips of Zinedine Zidane’s headbutt on Marco Materazzi.
These are quite large images, if you have broadband you should have no problem. If not, it’s your own fault and you should be on it by now.
Terry Tate, some fat, angry, American sorts Zidane out
A dive Ronaldo would be proud of
Should have gone to Specsavers
This one is so cool!
My best one from the whole lot. Reminds me of Street Fighter 2
I worry if I commented on this one Zinedine would find and headbutt me
Fucking smoke alarms! OK, one day they may save me from being very badly burnt like Anakin Skywalker but last night they really pissed me off!
I went to bed early as I was tired due to not sleeping well the previous night. For some reason I often can never sleep after a weekend, let alone two weeks off work.
There I was, all tucked up in bed, lights out and nodding off when all of a suddenly I was awoken by “BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!“ the sound of a demonic alarm clock.
Dazed and confused I got up and wondered what the fuck had just happened. I was in that state of semi-consciousness where nothing really seems real.
What had made that terrible noise? My new mobile phone? My laptop? Remember, I wasn’t thinking straight! When I finally regained my senses I realised the only thing it could have been was the smoke alarm.
Now, if there had been smoke or a fire somewhere in the flat (all the alarms are networked), surely the alarm would have gone on for longer than five seconds? My initial thought was that the batteries in the smoke alarm were dying. I got a chair and attempted to reach the alarm to disable it. I couldn’t reach due to the fact that my ceilings are amazingly high. I either had to start growing or try and get Peter Crouch’s telephone number.
In the end, after fully waking up and thinking rationally I decided maybe it was just a glitch or somebody in the flat had burnt some toast or lit up a cigarette. I was too tired to even bother with it anymore so went to bed, praying that I wouldn’t be awoken to the sound of another alarm, or worse still the smell of burning flesh as flames lap at my ankles.
It is now the next day and I can say that there have been no more troubles from the smoke alarm and no fires in the flat. Somebody probably did burn toast or I am just going totally mad and dreamt the alarm went off, the latter being far more worrying.
Italian players were not the only ones to win big last night. The final game of The World Cup secured enough points for me to win the IT Department Fantasy Football League.
It was a close league, but as the World Cup progressed, I climbed the league table and on Saturday night reached the summit before being crowned champion on Sunday.
I expect my prize money to be in the region of £50, which is certainly better than cutting your balls off with a rusty bread knife.
I think this speaks wonders for my football management skills. If Leeds United chairman Ken Bates actually wants his side promoted next season and to be playing in The Champions League shortly after, I am the best man for the job. Also, if Stevie McClaren doesn’t cut the mustard as England manager, I’m available and I won’t charge £5million a year like a dirty, perverted and incompetent Swede.
About Me
So you stumbled across my blog. No doubt after searching for something bizarre on Google. Before you hit that 'Back Button', why not stay and have a read for a few minutes?
If you are after a website which gives advice on how to hack an iPhone X, download the latest Steven Seagal movie, or view nudy ladies, you've come to the wrong place and may now press 'Back'.
However, if you would like a lifestyle blog, written by a 30-something chap, living in Bath (England), feast your eyes on this.
You won't discover how to copy PlayStation 4 games. What you will find is a blog, covering life in the West Country, the highs and lows of supporting two unsuccessful football teams, while sharing a house with a wife and rabbit.
All written by a man, somewhere on the sanity-scale between normal and eccentric.
