Good luck to Leeds tomorrow in the FA Cup against West Brom.
While I’m ever the optimistic when it comes to Leeds United, I can’t see them reaching the final, yet alone winning the damn thing. That said there is one man who believes they can do it…
In the past, Leeds United have been world famous for creating some excellent football players through their youth academy. Notable players include Alan Smith, Harry Kewell, Aaron Lennon and England goalkeeper, Paul Robinson.
Unfortunately, Leeds haven’t been doing so well of late and most of these youth players have left for bigger clubs like Manchester United and Liverpool. Even smaller, inferior clubs like Tottenham have stolen some of our “babies”. There are also unconfirmed reports that an unnamed Arsenal manager kidnapped some of the very young boys. This was never proved and all the boys were returned safe and well (if not a little shaken and sore).
Even with all the turmoil at Leeds United, the club have still found the time (and money) to produce some young lads who can play decent football. The trouble is, most of them are chavs and have their very own MySpace pages. Aaarrrggghhh!
If you want to see the future of English football, check out their pages. Rest assured, England won’t be winning The World Cup in the next 20 years.
Chav #1 – Nathan Cartman (“Beef Caaake! Beeef Caaake!”)
Chav #2 – Ross Wilkinson (After the state of his MySpace page, I hope they don’t test him for drugs)
Chav #3– Tomi Ameobi (If he shares the talent of his brother, Leeds are screwed)
Chav #4 – Matty Edwards (The most respectable one so far)
Chav #5 – Josh ??? (Apparantly a Leeds United youth. Sounds to me like a pisshead – will fit in well)
Chav #6 – Phil Stansfield (I’m a professional footballer for Leeds Utd but might be lookin for a new club! – well “Fuck you” then)
On a serious note, good luck to all the Leeds youths. I hope you can break the first team and make an impact. We need you!
Yesterday and today I went into town, my first venture into the city centre post-Christmas. I had received a few vouchers for Christmas and was keen to spend them in what was left of the January Sales.
A summary of what was purchased:
NEXT
Various T-Shirts going cheap in the sales. You can’t really go wrong with tees, unless they’re some obscure colour, have some strange logo plastered all over them or belong to Manchester United FC. I also bought a light grey hoodie. Although it wasn’t in the sale, I thought it was worthy of the £25 price tag. I had £5 left on my gift card, so bought a box of poker chips – totally random, but may come in useful.
WHITTARDS
For those not in the know, Whittards make fancy teas and coffees. Having been inspired by what my sister bought my aunt, I purchased a gift box of coffees from around the world. As they were half price, I bought two.
HMV
I had a HMV voucher to spend and no idea what to buy. I decided upon Fifa 07 for the Xbox 360. I already have this game on the PlayStation 2, but the 360 version boats superior graphics and online play.
WHSMITHS
A packet of playing cards for £1.99. Can be used with poker chips from Next.
Yesterday evening I discovered
1) The hoodie was too big. If I had wanted a big, baggy skaterboarders hoodie, I would have gone to a chav shop
2) Fifa 07 skipped on my Xbox. I also couldn’t get online to play on Xbox Live.
3) Worldwide coffee tastes of shit. Well the Jamaican coffee I tried does
Therefore
1) I returned to Next TODAY and swapped the hoodie for a smaller size
2) I also returned to HMV and swapped Fifa 07 for a working copy. I still cannot play it online.
3) I will not drink Jamaican coffee again
While in town today, not only did I return half of what I bought yesterday, I also made some other purchases…
– A stupid amount of DVDs from the HMV sale
– Bath’s very own version of Monopoly. Expect a full review after I play it soon.
– Some ornaments for my bedroom to surround the fish tank (a wooden lizard and fish)
– A slice of pizza from the pasty shop. The pizza was more like a deep fried slab of cheese – not nice. It ended up in the bin
New Years Eve was spent in the company of Simon and Mr. Watkins. We started the evening by going to everybody’s favourite restaurant, Garfunkles. Alongside my predictable chicken dish, I was encouraged by Simon to be adventurous and instead of ordering a Carling, try a cocktail. I can’t remember what it was called, but it contained vodka, Baileys, some other spirit, ice cream and whole cream. Had they included a couple of cigarettes and a heroin syringe, I think I would have had everything bad for the human body in one single glass.
After the meal we went back to my flat where we played various emulated games. It was just like any other evening. Watkins screamed like a mental patient, I became increasingly violent, while Simon turned into Mr. Ultra Competitive – a personality trait only seen when he plays videogames, football or watches Arsenal on TV.
After Watkins left things became bad – well hazy and blurred. The plan for New Years Day was for Simon and I to go to Chippenham to watch the mighty Bath City take on their local rivals. Earlier that day, Simon was unfortunate enough to be caught in a terrible English monsoon in Homebase car park. The soaking put him right off going to Chippenham on New Years Day. What’s wrong with catching an unreliable train, walking 2 miles to a death trap of a football ground to watch 22 amateurs kick a leather ball around a field of mud? I ask you…
I am just as stubborn as he is, so there was no way I was going to back down on New Years Day – I wanted to watch Bath. We were going, or at least I thought we were. On the evening of Sunday 31st December 2006, Simon performed an illegal and ungentleman-like act. He poisoned me.
I was happy to drink soft drinks all evening. I must have had 5 glasses of orange juice and another 5 of Dr. Pepper. All the time totally unaware that Simon was filling each glass with massive amounts of vodka from my spirits shelf. By 2am I felt like Mr. White on a weekday afternoon – a tad drunk. I went to bed and immediately fell asleep.
I awoke the following morning shivering and feeling rather unwell. The last thing I wanted to do was leave the flat and go to Chippenham. Simon had won. He had poisoned me with my own poison and prevented me from watching Bath City play. The bastard. Still, at least I had a bottle of vodka for him to use. Had that not been present, he may have had to use his own poison, polonium-210 – the same stuff he gave to that Russia fella.
If you would like to read Simon’s version of events (all lies), check out his new blog.
About Me
So you stumbled across my blog. No doubt after searching for something bizarre on Google. Before you hit that 'Back Button', why not stay and have a read for a few minutes?
If you are after a website which gives advice on how to hack an iPhone X, download the latest Steven Seagal movie, or view nudy ladies, you've come to the wrong place and may now press 'Back'.
However, if you would like a lifestyle blog, written by a 30-something chap, living in Bath (England), feast your eyes on this.
You won't discover how to copy PlayStation 4 games. What you will find is a blog, covering life in the West Country, the highs and lows of supporting two unsuccessful football teams, while sharing a house with a wife and rabbit.
All written by a man, somewhere on the sanity-scale between normal and eccentric.
