Have a read of this news story…
I don’t think I can possibly think of anything more horrendous to happen to someone. I pity the people who had to clean up the mess, and worse still, capture all the creatures – no amount of money would be enough for me to do it!
A MAN who lived in his own “zoo” of lizards and insects was fatally bitten by a pet black widow spider — then eaten by the other creepy-crawlies.
Police broke in to Mark Voegel’s apartment to find spider Bettina along with 200 others, several snakes, a gecko lizard called Helmut and several thousand termites had gorged on his body.
Neighbours alerted police after becoming alarmed by the stink.
A police spokesman said: “It was like a horror movie. His corpse was over the sofa.
“Giant webs draped him, spiders were all over him. They were coming out of his nose and his mouth.
“There was everything there one could imagine in the world of reptiles.
“Larger pieces of flesh torn off by the lizards were scooped up and taken back to the webs of tarantulas and other bird-eating spiders.”
Loner Voegel, 30, never invited people back to his “jungle” home, a small apartment in the German city of Dortmund.
Police described it as a cross between a botanical garden and the butterfly breeding ground in the serial killer movie The Silence Of The Lambs.
One tarantula had built a nest the size of a swallow’s in a corner of the ceiling.
Voegel also had a boa constrictor and several poisonous frogs from South America.
Spider expert and animal cruelty officer Gabi Bayer said he kept creatures “that should never be allowed in a private home”.
She said: “He had spiders so aggressive they are the equivalent of a pit-bull in the animal world.”
The reptiles were allowed to roam free in the flat.
The heating elements on two tanks containing spiders and their termite snacks had exploded and dislodged the metal tops allowing them to escape.
Voegel is thought to have been dead for between seven and 14 days.
A post-mortem will be carried out in the next few days. But authorities believe Bettina alone was responsible for Voegel’s death.
The first day of my two weeks off was rather uneventful. I got up late – something which is customary for anybody off on annual leave. The rest of the day was spent playing Xbox, drinking coffee and browsing the net. My relaxation was briefly interrupted by two telephone calls…
The first was to Littlewoods. I was given some discount codes to use on their website. These would supposedly give me a hefty saving on a purchase of a “mans bag” which I wanted to buy. For some reason however, my debit card was charged £23, instead of the £6 which I was expecting. I rang Littlewoods to find out what was going on.
According to the northern female phone operator, ‘Littlewoods Online’ and ‘Littlewoods Direct’ are two separate companies, and even though the website confirmed my discount, I would not receive it. I cancelled my order, and went onto MSN to bitch about the stupid northern girl. I am sure she too was bitching to her neighbouring colleague about the stupid southern boy who messed up his order.
Quite frankly, I do not care, or wish to learn if there is a difference between ‘Littlewoods Online’ and ‘Littlewoods Direct’. Up until today, I have never used a catalogue shop, and after today, will never use one again.
Later that day I received an international call from India. The phone operator, who kept referring to me as “My man”, was trying to sell me gas and electricity. I am rather happy with my current supplier and have no intentions to switch, but thought I would have some fun with the chap.
I was told by the operator that they were prepared to better by current energy deal. When asked how much I currently pay, I lied and replied “around £5 a month for the lot”. This ridiculously low quotation of mine caused much confusion, and I was passed onto a supervisor, who began to read me his company’s policy. I got bored at that point, and midway through this speech wished him farewell before hanging up.
I wonder what fun-fulfilled events await me tomorrow! At the moment, I am planning on going to Argos to buy a new toaster – rock and roll!
Bath beat Hampton and Richmond* 2-0, while Leeds thrash Southend 4-1.
To make things better, Roy Keane’s Sunderland lost 3-0. Hahaha – unlucky Keano!
* Yes, Hampton & Richmond are indeed a football club. Prior to kick off, I was a little confused, thinking they were actually a make of sausage. Based upon their performance, maybe their players should give up football and become butchers.
One of my neighbours set the fire alarm off last night – not a nice experience. As our alarms are networked, they were all going off – very, very loudly.
Simon was round and helped a rather shocked neighbour and me try to turn the damn thing off. Initially, I did want to take a chainsaw to the alarm panel, but decided against it – besides which, I don’t have a chainsaw.
After much thought into how to silence the siren, including removing the covers with a screwdriver, I discovered a key and an instruction manual. To everyone’s surprise (and relief), simply by turning a key and pressing a button, the alarm was silenced and normal serenity was restored.
Knowing how to silence the alarm could prove extremely useful. If I ever become influenced by the lyrics of The Prodigy, and become “a twisted fire starter”, I will be able to carry out my arson in secret.
I can’t complain about the football results yesterday, with both my teams being victorious. Leeds won 1-0 at Macclesfield in the Carling Cup, while Bath City beat Eastleigh in the league.
The game was entertaining. City played well, and Eastleigh looked far from amazing. If Bromley and Eastleigh are examples of the “quality” in this division, I can see another promotion this season.
Unfortunately, the standard of the refereeing is still just as poor as last year. Apologies to anyone who was offended by a rather rude insult I hurled at the ref following a foul on City’s Phil Walsh in the penalty box. I won’t repeat it on here, but it sounded a little like “Ducking lunt!” When I got home, I washed my mouth out with lots of soap and water – I was a bad boy.
About Me
So you stumbled across my blog. No doubt after searching for something bizarre on Google. Before you hit that 'Back Button', why not stay and have a read for a few minutes?
If you are after a website which gives advice on how to hack an iPhone X, download the latest Steven Seagal movie, or view nudy ladies, you've come to the wrong place and may now press 'Back'.
However, if you would like a lifestyle blog, written by a 30-something chap, living in Bath (England), feast your eyes on this.
You won't discover how to copy PlayStation 4 games. What you will find is a blog, covering life in the West Country, the highs and lows of supporting two unsuccessful football teams, while sharing a house with a wife and rabbit.
All written by a man, somewhere on the sanity-scale between normal and eccentric.
